Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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