I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
