I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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