Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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