when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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