Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
