Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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