its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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