ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you never un-have a 4some
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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