I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
