I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
