She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
