he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize