how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
