Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
