So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
