I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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