why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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