did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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