Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
