If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize