you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
