I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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