I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
