who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
