I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
