New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
