I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
