Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish my penis had a tongue
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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