fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
