it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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