Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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