fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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