I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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