You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
