you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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