Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
