I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Come see our sink grown plant.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
