the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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