He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
