I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
