I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
