Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They have beer where we have blood.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
