I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
