I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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