it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
