Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
