Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
