I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
