I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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