This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
