All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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