I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
