In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
