We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
