I am full of burrito and curiosity
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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