Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
