I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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