Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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