Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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