Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
