They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
