how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
