Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
