i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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