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You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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